September 23, 2011 by dairycarrie
This summer when my Grandma was sick I spent a lot of time working in the garden thinking. I planted snapdragons for the first time this year. One of my memories as a little kid is of my grandmother making the Snapdragons “talk” to me. In my brain my Grandmother and Snapdragons are linked forever.
I haven’t been sleeping well since a few weeks before my Grandmother passed away. Mostly because I can’t seem to shut my brain off at night. I think about work things or what I have to get done or I toss and turn and never get good sleep. This morning my husband’s alarm went off just before 5 and I woke up from my light sleep wishing that my Grandma was still here to see how successful the Hay Drive I’ve been working on is going. I wanted to call her to tell her I was going to be on the news and that she should watch, but I couldn’t anymore. I got pretty teary and my husband cuddled up and tried to comfort me by saying that she could see what I was doing and would be proud of me.
I am new to being a Christian, I was baptized a few years ago and never really went to church as a kid. I struggle greatly with doing what I want and doing what God wants me to do. My Grandma was a self proclaimed Atheist. Which never bothered me, I have always thought that religion is a personal choice and not to be pushed onto others. However as my Grandma was getting closer and closer to leaving us I was worried that I really wouldn’t see her again. I believe with my whole heart that God does not turn away good people at the pearly gates. I know my Grandma was a good person, but what if my idea of St. Peter’s VIP list was wrong and those who didn’t go to church or pray really didn’t get to come in? I don’t know if my Grandma at the end accepted Christ into her heart. Because of all of this my husband’s words didn’t comfort me the way that they should have.
Tonight I went out and looked at my garden. Its been fairly neglected for the last month or so. Since my Grandma passed I have been very busy at work and just haven’t taken the time to dig in the dirt. I was quite surprised to see the Snapdragons I planted in full bloom for the first time this summer. It was then that I realized my husband was right. She was in fact looking down from heaven and letting me know through a few blooms that she loved me. I encourage each one of you that reads this to keep your eyes open for the signs from above.