This summer when my Grandma was sick I spent a lot of time working in the garden thinking. I planted snapdragons for the first time this year. One of my memories as a little kid is of my grandmother making the Snapdragons “talk” to me. In my brain my Grandmother and Snapdragons are linked forever.
I haven’t been sleeping well since a few weeks before my Grandmother passed away. Mostly because I can’t seem to shut my brain off at night. I think about work things or what I have to get done or I toss and turn and never get good sleep. This morning my husband’s alarm went off just before 5 and I woke up from my light sleep wishing that my Grandma was still here to see how successful the Hay Drive I’ve been working on is going. I wanted to call her to tell her I was going to be on the news and that she should watch, but I couldn’t anymore. I got pretty teary and my husband cuddled up and tried to comfort me by saying that she could see what I was doing and would be proud of me.
I am new to being a Christian, I was baptized a few years ago and never really went to church as a kid. I struggle greatly with doing what I want and doing what God wants me to do. My Grandma was a self proclaimed Atheist. Which never bothered me, I have always thought that religion is a personal choice and not to be pushed onto others. However as my Grandma was getting closer and closer to leaving us I was worried that I really wouldn’t see her again. I believe with my whole heart that God does not turn away good people at the pearly gates. I know my Grandma was a good person, but what if my idea of St. Peter’s VIP list was wrong and those who didn’t go to church or pray really didn’t get to come in? I don’t know if my Grandma at the end accepted Christ into her heart. Because of all of this my husband’s words didn’t comfort me the way that they should have.
Tonight I went out and looked at my garden. Its been fairly neglected for the last month or so. Since my Grandma passed I have been very busy at work and just haven’t taken the time to dig in the dirt. I was quite surprised to see the Snapdragons I planted in full bloom for the first time this summer. It was then that I realized my husband was right. She was in fact looking down from heaven and letting me know through a few blooms that she loved me. I encourage each one of you that reads this to keep your eyes open for the signs from above.
Aimee @ everydayepistle.com
That thing about not being able to turn your brain off? You’re not crazy or odd. You may be “processing.” It’s a normal part of grief. Hang tough, DC. He is with you…
Thanks Aimee! It is good to be reminded of just that!
Interesting you write this post.
About 3 years ago I was attending a wonderful local church. I had been attending for about 6 months and decided to be baptized. We lost Grandma not long thereafter. I grew up in a family without a focus on Christ or Christianity and from what we know, Grandma was never baptized.
I emailed the Pastor of the church the night we lost Grandma to talk more about the “rules” of getting into Heaven. It was an interesting conversation.
In the end, I think I agree with you and your husband. God does not turn away good people. I hope your Grandma and mine have met. I bet they would like each other.
Thank you Jodi,
This brought a tear to my eye… hope your Grandma plays cards, because mine sure loved to play and i’d love to think of them sitting at a card table.
Thank you Vieve, my Grandmother was an amazing lady.
Thank you Steph!
renée a. schuls-jacobson
You may not believe this, but my grandmother left me with a plant that has only bloomed a few times since I’ve had it. It is of unknown origin. I’ve brought it to several florists, all of them have been flummoxed as to what it might be. It has bloomed only during very significant times in my life: right before my wedding, when my husband and I bought our first house, and just after my son’s bar mitzvah. I am a Jewish girl, but I believe in angels — absolutely. How wonderful to know your grandmother is hovering close.
Thank you Renee!